The Philadelphia Turkey
Top Story In The City In The Region Arts & Entertainment Sports Comics Archives
 
 
Mendte Hacks Into Pentagon
June 10, 2008 – Suspended CBS3 anchor Larry Mendte hacked his way into the Pentagon's highest-level database over the weekend, according to stunned government sources. "Early Sunday morning, we discovered a breach in our Sigma-17 database–which houses information on CIA planning, covert ops, and nuclear encryption," a Pentagon source, who requested anonymity, said yesterday. "It was quickly traced to the computer of one Lawrence Mendte, of Philadelphia–who we now understand has a history of such infringements."

Mendte Hacks into PentagonAuthorities said that Mendte–currently under FBI investigation for illegally accessing former co-anchor Alycia Lane's e-mails–posed a grave threat to national security. "Sigma-17 was thought to be breach-proof, and it has resisted similar hacking attempts by the Chinese, the Russians, and the North Koreans," said Deputy Assistant National Security Adviser Richard Yancey. "But Mr. Mendte got in and got out with relative ease. He absolutely must be stopped." Regional FBI director Jack Philips agreed. "We descended on the Mendte home two hours after the breach, but he'd already vanished," he said worriedly. "Who would've guessed that Larry Mendte was Philadelphia's own Carlos the Jackal?"

CBS3 station manager Claire Huston, meanwhile, seemed skeptical of the new allegations. "Certainly, as we have seen with the case of Alycia's e-mail, Larry has an extraordinary technical mind," she said. "But it seems unlikely that even he could break into the Pentagon's most heavily-guarded files." The anonymous source, though, seemed certain that Mendte was the culprit. "Without a doubt, we know that it was Larry Mendte who hacked Sigma-17," he said sternly. "And just as with Ms. Lane's e-mail... who knows what secrets he's made off with?"
 
FORWARD TO A FRIEND
 
 
Sign Up For Weekly Email Alerts  |  RSSThe Philadelphia Turkey RSS Feed
 
Recent Headlines
Street Loving Summer Job
Tastykake Introduces Massive New Krimpet
Schuylkill Dolphin Speaks
Nutter Urges City to Get Baked For Cirque Du Soleil
Thanks to Fumo, Senate Withdraws Slavery Bill
Deranged Voter Wishes Primary Would Never End
 
What Delicate Recordings