Tastykake Introduces Massive New Krimpet
May 27, 2008 –
Philadelphia's Tasty Baking Co. yesterday unveiled its most ambitious product yet: the 18½-lb., shoebox-sized Mega Krimpet. "Starting today, families throughout the region will be able to enjoy a single krimpet for breakfast, lunch, and dinner," proclaimed company president Charles Pizzi, struggling to lift a massive chocolate-fudge Mega Krimpet over his head. "And, at just $3.99, it's priced to move!"
 According to Tastykake marketing director Neil Dodge, the company's move into heartier offerings was at least partly spurred by the area's economic troubles. "With the rising cost of living, people just don't have as much to spend on food as they once did," he said concernedly. "But each scrumptious vanilla, chocolate-fudge, and butterscotch Mega Krimpet can feed a family of six all day long–and for less than four dollars!" Gene Reynolds of The Philadelphia Business Journal said that the decision was indeed savvy. "This is a natural extension of the Tastykake brand into the lucrative prepared-meals market," he said. "My only concern is that the krimpet name could become even more associated with things like clogged arteries and high blood pressure."
Local Tastykake devotees, though, wholeheartedly welcomed the gigantic new sweet. "This will save me a lot of time and money," said Upper Darby resident Kathy Sherman, a 47-year-old mother of three. "Now, instead of cooking, I'll just hand the kids some spoons and say, 'Get to it.'" Such a reaction seemed to be just what Pizzi had in mind. "I truly believe that, what rice is to China and what potatoes are to Ireland, the Mega Krimpet will become to Philadelphia: a vital staple food," he said, stuffing a handful of cake into his mouth. "Mmf! And a tasty one at that."
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