Kalas Memorialized With Terrible Impersonations
April 21, 2009 –
More than one week after the sudden death of Harry Kalas, the legendary broadcaster was still being memorialized by Phillies fans regionwide with thousands of tender, numbingly awful impersonations. “Long drive… watch this one,” Roxborough’s still-saddened Joseph Potts, 34, said yesterday, in a strangled, Kermit-the-Frog-like intonation. “It’s… outta heeeere!” He grinned, then added incorrectly, “Just like Harry.”
 Other fans offered similarly terrible imitations of the Hall-of-Fame announcer. “Swing and a big drive, there that one sure is! That is number 600!” shouted Pennsport resident Kip Charles, 46, in a garbled simper that bore zero resemblance to Kalas’ distinctive, reassuring baritone. “The 600th homer of Mike Schmidt… Michael John Schmidt,” he continued, despite the impression’s grinding ineptitude. Mayfair’s Curtis Buscema, 30, meanwhile, mangled one of Kalas’ classic radio advertisements. “Fresh, delicious Stroehmann’s buns and rolls,” he said, sounding remarkably like former Cubs announcer Harry Caray. “Nobody loves you like your grampa. Grampa Stroehmann!”
One of Kalas' three sons, Todd Kalas, was touched by the relentless outpouring of hamfisted mimicry. “Everyone’s always loved to do my dad’s voice—even if they couldn’t actually do it,” he said, a bittersweet smile playing at his lips. “I mean, I’m his son, and even I could never really nail it.” He took a moment to gather himself, then said: “Brad Lidge stretches. The 0-2 pitch—swing and a miss, struck him out!” sounding far more like Yoda than his actual father. “The Philadelphia Phillies are the 2008 World Champions of baseball! Hmm. That didn't sound like him at all, did it?”
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