100 Miserable Seasons Commemorative DVD Announced
May 27, 2008 –
100 Miserable Seasons, an eight-hour-long documentary commemorating the city's epic 25-year title drought, will be released on DVD on June 10, according to excited representatives of the Phillies, Flyers, Eagles, and Sixers. "The four teams are very pleased to have contributed to this wonderful film," Phillies president Dave Montgomery said yesterday at a Wachovia Center press conference. "I'd especially like to thank the Flyers for losing [to Pittsburgh] last week–assuring that Philadelphia would indeed endure its 100th straight parade-free season. But, of course, neither the drought nor the film would've been possible without everyone's cooperation."
 100 Miserable Seasons' creator, Dan Stephenson–who also directed the recent Richie Ashburn: A Baseball Life–said that the four-disc set would document Philadelphia sports' most memorable players and moments since 1983, when the Sixers won the NBA championship. "If you want to reminisce over local legends like Sharone Wright, James Thrash, and Sean Burke, you'll want to pick up this DVD," he said. "It's also a great gift for anyone who has fond memories of Danny Tartabull's seven Phillies at-bats." Eagles president Joe Banner was similarly pleased. "Our fans may have forgotten Bobby Hoying, or the Marion Campbell era," he beamed. "But with 100 Miserable Seasons, those memories will come rushing back."
Fans, however, didn't seem quite as enthusiastic. "I'm not really sure if I want to see it, to be honest," said Pennsport resident Gary Trellis, 55. "I think I remember the Flyers losing to the Oilers [in the 1985 and 1987 Stanley Cup Finals] pretty goddamn well, thank you." Montgomery, though, said that "100 Miserable Seasons is a landmark documentary. And it has enough great memories to last any fan of Philadelphia sports for the next 100 seasons."
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Burrell Voting Self Into All-Star Game
May 27, 2008 –
Phillies leftfielder Pat Burrell, whose average has plummeted nearly fifty points in recent weeks, is attempting to vote himself into his first-ever all-star game, according to teammates. "He's got a whole stack of ballots in the back of his locker," whispered centerfielder Shane Victorino after last night's 20-5 win over Colorado. "The last couple weeks, he goes back there after games, and he just sits, real quiet, and punches out his name."
Burrell, however, denied that he had been trying to stuff the ballot. "I don't know what Shane's talking about," he laughed weakly, snapping shut a laptop which appeared to be logged onto MLB.com's online ballot. "I mean, I know I'm not red-hot like I was [in April], but I wouldn't do a thing like that. If the fans vote me in, they vote me in." However, pitcher Jamie Moyer, himself an all-star in 2003, readily contradicted Burrell's denial. "I think Pat thought he was finally a shoo-in [to make the all-star team], but his slump sort of killed off that idea. Even though he's been better the last few games, if he doesn't go on a tear again, voting for himself will be the only way he gets in."
Phillies manager Charlie Manuel, meanwhile, wished that Burrell's focus would return from the ballot box to the batter's box. "I see him over at his locker, punchin' out them lil' circles, and it just makes me think he's already given up," he said, shaking his head. "I told him he needed to get consistent again, stop pullin' off the ball... but he just got this real sad look in his eyes." Burrell, though, remained steadfast. "Sure, I'd love to go up to Yankee Stadium and play in the big game–but trying to vote myself in would be pretty unprofessional. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some... uh... I have some things I need to do."
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