Specter Not Invited to Chuck E. Cheese
February 17, 2009 –
Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) yesterday held out hope that his invitation to last night’s Chuck E. Cheese birthday party for Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) had simply been lost in the mail. “I’m sure I would’ve been invited, really,” frowned Specter, who has lately drawn the ire of fellow Republicans for supporting President Obama’s $789 billion stimulus package. “Orrin, of all people, knows how much I love the pizza and the air hockey. The mailman will bring [the invitation] today, I’m sure.”
 As the Washington-area party commenced, however, it appeared clear that Specter had indeed been snubbed. “Oh, did Arlen not get his invitation?” chuckled Richard Shelby (R-AL), still wearing a suit as he dove feet-first into a child-filled ball pit. Upon emerging, squealing with delight, he added, “All I can say is, had he voted ‘no’ on the spending measure, he’d be right in here with me.” Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) agreed. “Arlen needs to learn that you stand with your party, especially on an issue as important as the pork-filled stimulus package,” she said, frantically shooting free throws as time wound down on a basketball simulator. After receiving a handful of tokens from the father of Bob Corker (R-TN), she said, “Missing out on Chuck E. Cheese should certainly teach him that lesson.”
As night wore on, Specter seemed reluctant to concede that his longtime colleagues had taken such a cruel stance. “I would hope they’d understand that I’m merely standing by my principles,” he pouted, staring mournfully at a frenetic Chuck E. Cheese commercial. “Damn,” he whispered. “I bet they’re eating fro-yo right now.” As it turned out, that’s exactly what they were doing. “Arlen is known for being one of our more moderate members,” snorted Saxby Chambliss (R-GA), eagerly scooping chunks of Heath bar onto his self-serve chocolate sundae. “But at roll call tomorrow, when he hears how much fun we’ve had? I’m thinking that will change.”
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| FORWARD TO A FRIEND |
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