Track-Crossing Trampolines Installed at Schuylkill River Park
June 3, 2008 –
Mayor Michael Nutter yesterday unveiled what he called an "exciting solution" to the problem of pedestrians having to cross CSX-owned railroad tracks to get to and from Schuylkill River Park: a pair of 10-ft. wide trampolines. "The city is federally mandated to provide a safe crossing at this spot by October 2009," smiled Nutter, bouncing gently atop one of the trampolines near the park's south entrance at 25th and Locust St. "But with the weather getting warmer and park traffic increasing, we felt that we just couldn't wait any longer."
 Local park-lovers were thrilled by the installation. "If I want to go for a jog [in the park] and the train is going through, I have to wait forever for it to pass," moaned Fitler Sq. resident Kathleen Janus, 45. "But now? I'll just bounce right over!" Tod Jackson, 35, of Gray's Ferry, was similarly thrilled. "Man, them trains take forever, and walkin' up to [the Chestnut. St. overpass] is a straight-up hassle," he complained. "But these trampolines look like fun. Although I dunno how I'll get my bike over with me."
Philadelphia Inquirer architecture critic Inga Saffron, however, was horrified by the city's bouncy, frugal solution. "I understand that a bridge or a ramp would cost many millions at a time of great budgetary cost-consciousness," she wrote last night on her blog. "But these trampolines are a pathetically stopgap fix. And I can't even begin to imagine how many broken arms they'll cause." Nutter, though, seemed pleased. "I think this adds an interesting dimension to Schuylkill River Park," he said, grimacing slightly as he rose from the ground after his inaugural crossing. "It fixes the train-track problem in a very budget-conscious... damn... I think I just sprained my ankle!"
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Outrageous Taxi Rate Hikes Take Effect
June 3, 2008 –
The Philadelphia Parking Authority yesterday instituted a wide range of rate hikes for city taxis that critics have rushed to label as both onerous and contemptible. "I can understand boosting the base fare, or raising the per-mile [fare] a little bit," fumed Center City District President Paul Levy. "But it should still be free to tell the cabbie that he doesn't know where the hell he's going."
The rate hikes, which took effect at 12:00 yesterday morning, are as follows:
• Base fare: $3.20 (up from $2.70)
• Fare per mile: $2.30 (up from $2.10)
• Each additional passenger (beginning with the second passenger): $1
• Seatbelt use: $.25
• Eavesdropping on driver's heated cell phone conversation: $1.25
• Complaining about tacky substance in back seat: $1
• Informing driver that he's, um, going the wrong way: $.75
• Request for driver to turn down tooth-rattling Lil Wayne song: $.50
• Screaming as driver flies through red light: $2.75 (additional screams $2.25/scream)
• Cursing out driver for supposedly "not having change": $3.50
 PPA executive director Vincent Fenerty defended the surprising increases as a consequence of skyrocketing fuel costs. "Gas prices are going up every single week, and in that context, the move was absolutely unavoidable," he insisted. "I'm sorry, but it's just something that the people of Philadelphia will have to get used to." Philadelphia Inquirer business writer Mike Armstrong reluctantly agreed. "Every time there's an increase, the public becomes angry, often justifiably so," he said. "But eventually, they adjust. Although this current increase does seem particularly draconian–even for the PPA."
Riders, meanwhile, were infuriated by the sweeping new fees. "It just cost me $17 to go from City Hall to 20th and Walnut," scowled businessman Henry Bowers, 53, as he stepped from a cab. "He was taking an idiotic route, and I kept yelling at him–which obviously increased the fare. I guess when that happens in the future, I'll just have to remember to get my money's worth." Fenerty, however, was nonplussed. "I understand that people are upset about this, but as I said, we really had no other option," he said. "Because had we not done this, it would've become impossible to offer the clean, courteous service our riders have come to expect."
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